Whisky and men

Men are simple creatures. We have simple needs. We live by simple principles.

1) Do not insult a man’s work. A man’s work is his personal footprint in history; his achievement in life. It puts a roof over his head and provides for his family.

2) Do not mess with a man’s woman. She’s his love, his life, the mother of his children and the person he takes orders from.

3) Do not take away a man’s whisky. Because after putting up with the work and the wife day in and day out, a man, any man, if there’s any justice in this world, on any given day, deserves a drink … or 10.

Nicked (and sort of taken out of context) from the Bangkok Post.

Non alcoholic whisky?

A company based in Panama (in France Field, Colon Free Zone – according to their website) is launching what they claim is the worlds first non-alcoholic whisky. It supposedly tastes just like a standard Scotch and is purely “made from Natural Identical ingredients in accordance with the EEC regulation and from Artificial Flavors in accordance with the FDA Food and Drug Administration.” The company, which calls it self Scottish Sprits Ltd. (nice name for a Panamanian company, isn’t it?) plans to start production in April and plans to concentrate on Islamic countries.

Age whisky yourself

I’ve been away for a bit (work-related lock-in seminar), and have spent the last few days just trying to get through the amount of correspondance received in that time.

So now back to our scheduled program:
An inventor claims to have produced a device that aged alcoholic beverages in just 30 minutes. For a mere £411.25 (4350 NOK) any young malt can be made into a aged beauty. The device, called “The Quantum Ultrasonic Wine and Spirit Ager”, supposedly changes the chemical balance of the alcohol esters, thereby speed aging them.

According to the inventor, Casey Jones, it can make paintstripper whisky taste like an 8 year old Single Malt, and make a bottle of £3.99 plonk taste like a vintage wine from the best houses. Can’t say I’m convinced as if it only “ages” the products, a cheap plonk would turn into a vinegary plonk – as it’s not made for ageing.

If anybody out there want’s to give it a try, please drop me a line about the results. The device can be purchased here.